As you may have heard, Tatiana and I got married this week … for the third time. We wish and hope all of our couples have as amazing and perfect a time as we did. There has been so much coverage, as expected, with so much more to come, but for you here is the director’s cut, my speech from the wedding that I only delivered half of due to iPhone issues. I’m sharing it here because this wedding not only was a high point of our lives, but our experience of it and the heightening of our empathy will affect every wedding we shoot in years to come:
I’m here to say that the cliches are real.
The treacly, sanctimonious banal nonsense is real.
There is someone out there for you who is just … right. And when you feel it, you will know. It will be different than anything you’ve ever experienced.
As Charlotte told some of you last night, I’ve been down some relationship roads before. I’ve known wonderful people, but there’s a reason this is the last one … we are right together. I simply didn’t know this could be like this. I hoped, I saw this in my couples, I read about it, but maybe, I thought … not for me. Maybe a relationship could only reach me so deeply. But I was wrong. With Tatiana I basically scooped up all my insides and said “Take this, they’re yours.”
Love transforms you. Another cliche: She completes me. Or, in the word of a drunk girl we met in Madrid, “You are a 6, but she makes you at least a 9, because you just glow around her.” Last night so many people mentioned that Tatiana has transformed me that people started asking “How big of a jerk *were* you?” Well, it’s not really that … it’s just that I’m so much happier. With life and with myself. That makes my every moment feel different. I’ve been so lucky in life, but we aren’t built to really feel the luck we have every day — it’s like the taste of our own mouths. But with Tatiana I feel lucky, all the time.
Love takes faith. When I moved in, I asked my old landlord what I could do with furniture I didn’t need. He said “just leave it, we’ll take care of it.” And I walked out, leaving everything behind. And there has been so much from my pre-Tatiana life that I’ve simply said “Oh, hey, I don’t need this anymore. I know what I do need, and it’s simple, and pure, and perfect.” I don’t need insecurities and cynicism anymore than I need a lumpy brown couch or a coffee table that I never got around to putting together right. We have had faith at even our darkest moments, and that’s what got us through.
Love takes work. You might have heard that I can be a workaholic, at least when I find a project I believe. I twice worked until I had to be carried away from my office in an ambulance, and one of those times I had the ambulance take me back to the hospital after 17 hours of treatment. But I have never worked on anything nearly as hard as this relationship. There have been times when it took absolutely every bit of effort I could possibly muster to make sure that we kept moving forward, kept getting better, and ended up here.
But it took more than me; it took the help from so many of the people in this room. The friends who listen to and celebrate with us, the family who have given us guidance and inspiration our entire life, the clients who show us weekend after weekend what it is to love and celebrate even after the insane stress of planning a modern wedding.
We are so happy to be here celebrating not just a wedding, not just a triple-married couple, but a marriage, a marriage that has been more wildly successful than I could have ever imagined. This has been one of the happiest, most important days of my life, but I’m also looking forward to tomorrow, when we’re not bride and groom anymore, but just two people who are super-duper married, living a simple, happy life. And, thanks to a life with Tatiana, and a life where I get to continue to know and love and celebrate with all of you, I’m looking forward to all of our tomorrows.